Looking Up

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It’s been long. Too long.

There’s no real concrete reason why I stopped updating this website for 1.5years. However, I think in an abstract way, a shift occured. As life got busier, I just looked ahead and worked out what I needed to do to get by each day, instead of looking up and really getting the bigger picture of well, the important stuff.

I finally had a few absolutely-do-nothing days as the year ended last month. I was looking forward to them. I even did a to-do list on how I was going to optimally enjoy this rare pocket of complete rest.

Instead, I felt unsettled. I tossed and turned during my “lazy naps”. The long walks by the beach which usually leave me with a calm sense of content had me feeling burdened as I finally had that time and space to consider how I long to be a much better human being.

Being a writer in Singapore, it’s easy to say all this is too hard. I could always blame the “cowboy town pay peanuts” media industry, the general negative societal attitude towards freelancers, difficult clients, naysayers who just don’t “get” your writing, and the weird natural law of crazy convergent deadlines.

But today, I look up to the sky and I know that there is space for me to work things out so that I can be the writer who wholeheartedly appreciates the work I undertake, who finds new ways to improve, who finds joy in doing (and not just mopey thinking about) creative pursuits, and yes, who makes it a point to update my work website regularly.

I’m not sure if this is just a new year thing, but it would be great to keep this momentum going. If you’re so inclined, feel free to leave a comment or note to share any freelance survival tips or send a positive thought or two to keep things going!

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